“Lynnae would never yell at her kids.”
My mouth dropped open in shock as my friend told me that’s what she thought.
I was flattered that I come across as the mom who doesn’t yell, but it’s not true. I’m human. I struggle with motherhood. There are times I wish my kids would just be quiet and give me five minutes. And yes, I have been known to yell.
Another friend confessed that I seem to have the kind of marriage where we don’t struggle much.
Oh, but we do.
My marriage is strong, yes. But I do have very weak areas as a wife. As a mom. As a woman.
I do not have it all together. Nobody does.Be authentic. We were not created to be pinterest-perfect.Click To Tweet
The Grass Isn’t Always Greener
When we go to church and see other wives and mothers, it’s easy to imagine these other women have it all together. They parent without yelling. They pray with their husbands every night. They disagree without getting angry at each other.
But it’s not true.
We’re all sinners. We all have problems in our relationships with our husbands and kids. Sure, some problems may be worse than others, but nobody has it completely together.
Let’s stop pretending that we do.
Getting Real Encourages Others
When my friend shared that she thought I never yelled at my children, I confessed that I had lost my cool that very morning.
Her face brightened a little as it dawned on her that she was normal. That I was normal.
That’s not to say admitting I yell at my children should give everyone license to go yell at their children. Losing my cool with my kids is still sin.
But admitting my struggle encouraged my friend that we’re all in this hard thing called motherhood together. We struggle. But we can pray for each other. Encourage each other, as we find strategies to overcome our problem areas. Provide an understanding shoulder to cry on.
Admitting Our Weaknesses Produces Strength in Numbers
Through discussing our weaknesses in marriage, a friend and I made a pact to work through
The Love Dare together. We determined to hold each other accountable to strengthen our marriages.
Soon a third friend was on board. And a fourth. And more.Repentance happens when we get real about our sins.Click To Tweet
One moment of getting real….a friend confessing her weakness, and then me confessing mine, led to a group effort to strengthen marriages throughout our church and beyond.
It’s a beautiful thing.
And it never would have happened, had we pretended everything was just fine.
Repentance happens when we get real about our sins.
Change begins when we get real about what work needs to be done.
We grow in Christ when we bond together to support each other with scripture and prayer.
Getting real takes a certain amount of vulnerability. I’ll admit, I’m very uncomfortable with being vulnerable.
But the refusal to open up to the possibility of getting hurt also stunts our ability to grow.
I don’t know about you, but I want to grow. Even if it’s hard. Even if it’s scary. Lord, never let me stagnate.
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